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Conviction

Let me just start by praying:

Lord God, You are Holy and Almighty.  You are Sovereign over my life and there is no one I desire above You.  You created me and You know my deepest, most heartfelt desires.  You have planned a life for me that I can live to the full, if only I obey Your Word and follow Your will.  You have given me talents and abilities that I am to use for Your glorification, not my own.  You have granted me grace, mercy, love, and favor that I do not deserve and have done nothing worthy of earning; yet, You bestow it all upon me simply because You love me and I am Your child.  Thank You, Father God, for Your abundant love and for Your plan for my life.  Because You are sovereignly in control, I don’t have to worry or fret about what I am to do next, where I am to go, or what I am to do when I get there.  Thank You, Lord, that You know all things and that You hold me within Your hands, guarding me against anything that You have not allowed to enter my life.  Thank You for molding me and shaping me into the woman that I have become, but thank You even more, Holy Father, that You continue to chip away my pride and negativity, ever perfecting and ever transforming me.  Thank You for the plans You have for me and for the ways in which You are preparing me for Your plans.  Thank You for walking with me through the refiner’s fire, the darkest valley, and the steepest mountain.  You are so Good.  You continue to amaze and astound me, Lord!  Thank You for Your trials and for the ways in which You teach me to be a better follower after Your heart and lover of Your people.  May You never cease to work in, through, and all around me.  May Your name be proclaimed by every thought, word, and action that spills forth from me.  May Your will be done, Your way, in Your timing, and for Your glorification.

Lord, allow the people who read this to hear Your voice, not mine.  Let them know Your Words, not my own.  Use me here to write honestly and humbly.  Lord, I ask that You would speak to each one as You see fit.  Thank You, Holy Father, for speaking to each of us differently and for convicting us all differently.  Help us not to judge one another simply because we have different struggles than another or perhaps someone else is at a different place in their walk with You and You have not yet revealed to them the things that You have revealed to us.  Help us all to put aside our prejudices and feelings of entitlement.  Help us to listen only to You and to praise Your Name when You speak to us and when You are silent.  May Your will be accomplished.  May Your voice be heard.  May Your people grow and return Your blessings with praise.  Thank You, Lord God, for all of the incredible things You allow us to experience each and every day.  You are Holy and we praise Your name.  Amen.

The Lord has recently been showing me my ugly side…  It isn’t super fun when He does that, but it is definitely something I need Him to do so that I don’t continue living in my sin or continue living a lie.

Now, let me preface all of this by saying that this is how the Lord has convicted ME about MY feelings and attitudes about MY wedding.  There is a high possibility that absolutely nothing that I write will have much meaning to you because you are not me.

First, let’s talk about a word I’m about to use a lot: convict (other forms include- convicts, convicted, conviction, convicting, etc).  When I use this term, I’m talking about the way the Lord points out something in your life that you are doing wrong, or that you aren’t doing and should be doing, and He brings it to your attention in a way that you know that something needs to change.  For instance: ‘the Lord convicted me of my sin’ means that God showed me that something I was doing was sinful and I needed to stop it and be obedient to Him instead of continuing to sin.

The Lord speaks to each of us differently and He will convict each of us of different things at different times.  That is one very important reason why you can’t go around life expecting that everyone else in the world has been convicted of the exact same things that you have.  In fact, they probably haven’t because their walk with Christ is completely different than yours.  Other people have other stumbling blocks and other sins that the Lord has to work out with them.  That means that the Lord may convict them of some things that He never convicts you of because He has already worked that out in You.  We all need God to speak to us in specific ways so that we can better understand Him.  We all require different levels of support.  And praise be to God, He knows what we need and He will meet us there!

Recently the Lord met me on my couch, as I was praying about my wedding coming up in May.  It’s getting very close now, so all of the little things are starting to sneak up on me.  I thought everything was going just fine and I had everything under control.  But that was my biggest problem…

I had gotten to a place in my wedding planning where I believed that I had everything under control.  Did you read that right?  I was in control.  Not the Lord.  I was.

And that was my pride-driven downfall.

I thought I could handle planning a wedding and doing a full time externship and working and packing up and planning to move and getting things ready for an apartment and all of the expenses that come along with all of those things stacked on top of things I would describe as “my normal life” stuff.  I thought I could do it all on my own…

I actually did for a hot second…

Then I started drowning.  All of the things I thought I had under control were suddenly far too much for me to grasp.  My grip failed.  I started sinking beneath the weight of everything I knew I could never handle on my own…

Then the Lord reached down to me, just as He did to Peter when he tried to walk on the water, and said “Oh you of little faith. Why did you doubt?” (Mat. 14:31)

Everything that was overwhelming me and pulling me under had been in perfect order when I had given it all to the Lord and relinquished control to Him.  God gracefully holds every single one of my burdens far better than I could ever dream to, and yet I pridefully thought that I could do it all myself…

You’d think that by now I would know better, but I am apparently a prideful person.  I hate admitting that because I desire so much to be humble.  I want to be a humble servant and a servant leader, but I have this pride within me that rises up and takes over if I am not diligent in prayerfully crushing it back down and relinquishing all praise to the Lord.

So the Lord convicted me of that pride.  He convicted me of a lot of pride I didn’t realize I had let settle into my heart and overflow into my actions.  He showed me how entitled I was and I hated it!  I hated to see myself through the truth that He was giving me…

I felt entitled to have a perfect wedding.  Everyone is, right!?  Or at least that’s what everyone says!  Even before I got engaged, I had people telling me, “it’s YOUR day YOU do whatever YOU want.”

Yeah, sure, it may partly be my day, but it’s also my husband’s day.  It’s also a day to say thank you to all of the people who helped us get to where we are now.

From the beginning, I wanted my wedding to be a celebration with the people that have supported us and helped us get to where we are now.  I wanted it to be a huge thank you to everyone who came and to those who couldn’t.  Yes, I want to celebrate my love with Brandon and the long awaited conclusion of long distance and separation.  I want to celebrate the journey that God has led us on and walked us through.  I want to celebrate the unity and holy matrimony that Brandon and I will finally be able to be a part of.  But I also want to celebrate and thank those people around us that the Lord has used to help us become who we are today.

I lost sight of that.

All I could see was how imperfect my wedding was going to be when compared to the other weddings I’ve been to or those that are being planned.  All I could see was how unfair it was that everyone else got to have a perfect day but I couldn’t because of this, that, and the other.  All I could see was the anger that I had toward myself mostly because I wasn’t good enough or organized enough or pretty enough or friendly enough or *insert any other negative comment here*.

That was it.  All I noticed was the negative.

And the Lord called me out on it.

I had been blessed with more than countless others; how prideful and arrogant I was to pity myself and feel entitled to even more.  I had been surrounded by so many praises and blessings; how blind and foolish I was to only focus on the very few negative things.

Now let me just tell you, when the Lord convicted me of those two big things (pride and negativity), it was not a pretty sight.  It was like being pushed out into the freezing cold with shorts and a tank-top on.  It was a shock to my system to realize that I had been living a lie and had so easily allowed myself to be tricked into believing it.  It was painful when the Lord ripped off my blinders and shone the truth right in my eyes.  It was uncomfortable.  Honestly, it still is.

Being convicted is like being brought into the light or being told the truth.  You can’t just go back to living like you were.  I mean, you can, but it’s terrible because now you know the truth and it will eat you alive to know that you are living a lie constantly.  You have to change something.  You have to consciously and actively decide to make a change and act on the truth that you now know.

I now know that I was being far too prideful (about many things, not just my wedding) and overly negative (again, about many things, not just my wedding).  Now I have to decide what my next step is going to be.  Do I continue living in sin and lies?  Or do I ask for forgiveness, change my attitude, and allow the Lord to help me live a humble, positive life?

I’m personally choosing the latter of the two.

Now, am I good at this?  No.  Not at all.  But the Lord is working on me through it and I have faith that He will help me get where He wants me to be so that I can do the good works He has already prepared for me to do there.

It will be a long, tiring journey and Satan will do his best to throw me off and cast me back into pride and negativity.  But I know Who holds my future and I know Who holds me.  The Lord will walk with me through each and every step of this journey toward humility and positivity in every aspect of my life.  And I know for certain that He won’t let me down.

The question is: when the Lord convicts you, what will your choice be?  Will you continue to live in the darkness or the lie, even though you know the truth?  Or will you step into the light to let the Lord wash you clean and help you live in the truth?

The choice is coming, but the choice is yours.  Choose wisely, my friend.

Gentry Bass

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Broken

You know how sometimes you just break?

You’re sitting there in life, minding your own business, and then out of nowhere everything is suddenly crashing down all around you.  It’s crazy!

If you had asked me thirty minutes ago how I was, I would have said, “I’m okay.”  I’m not great right now if I’m being honest; I have a ton of stuff going on, but I’m still okay.  Nothing is wrong.  I am not overwhelmed.  I am simply okay and content where I am.

Or at least I was…

Literally not even ten minutes ago I broke…

Today hasn’t been an overly stressful day or anything, it’s just that so many different things have been brought up throughout the day that the combination of thinking of all of it at the same time overwhelmed me to the point of a breakdown.  Yes.  A sobbing, uncontrollable breakdown.  Complete will mascara streams and snot bubbles.

Why the heck did I decide to go from “okay” to “broken”?  Well, my friend, it wasn’t my decision.  It just happened.

Throughout the day, many things have been brought to my immediate attention.  Not in a way that lends itself to expressing a thought or idea and then dismissing it and moving on.  It’s one of those things where as soon as you say it, you realize how real that thing is and you start to think on it even more.  Here are some of the things that have been brought to my immediate attention just within the past 14 hours:

  1. My fiancé still lives four hours away and we still have a 5 week break between our trips in March.
  2. My wedding is only 94 days away.  (So far, right?  Wrong!  IT’S SO CLOSE!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!)
  3. I still have a lot to pay for in different areas for my wedding (and I’m trusting the Lord to work all of that out for me, because otherwise I don’t got this…)
  4. I graduate in 72 days. (Hallelujah!)
  5. I still have a lot of stuff to do just to be ready to graduate (such as paperwork, a potential teaching certificate, documentation in order, reviews and surveys completed, and so many other things my mind just doesn’t even want to consider right now).
  6. I still don’t have a job…. (some of you may think, “That’s completely normal, you won’t graduate until May and everything will change by then.  There’s plenty of time.”  ………… May I just say to you, that I completely agreed with you until 15 minutes ago….  And now all of a sudden I’m freaking out over something that is still months away…  Lord, help me!)
  7. Because I’m getting married, that also means that I am moving.  Four hours away.
  8. There are no openings for jobs in the area I am looking.  As in none.  Not a single pediatric setting.  At all….
  9. That means that everywhere I am applying to is foreign to me since I don’t have any connections in that area. (I know people do this all the time, but this is new to me)
  10. This also means that my fiancé and I are looking at apartments/homes.  (if that isn’t enough to stress someone out to the max on it’s own, I don’t know what is)

And do you know what just tops it all off?  Finances.  It’s always the finances!  If I don’t have a job secured before I graduate and get married, then we won’t have any way of knowing where we need to live or how much we can/need to spend on a home.  If I don’t have a job, what in the world am I going to do with my days?  If we don’t have my income, how are we going to pay all of the bills?  I mean, I have a full-time job right now and all, but that is going to end the week before my wedding because I am moving four hours away and I won’t be able to make that kind of commute every day….

All of these things, and many others as well, have been brought to the forefront today.  Yes, they have been living in the back of my mind for a long time now and it’s not like any of this stuff is new, but it was like it all decided to jump me at the exact same time and I just couldn’t handle it!  So I broke.

Thirty minutes ago, all of these things were still there.  Nothing about my circumstances changed.  What changed was my perspective of them.

You see, thirty minutes ago the Lord was holding everything in His Almighty, Omnipotent, Omniscient, Capable, Sovereign Hands and I was contentedly trusting Him to handle each of my issues.  Ten minutes ago, I decided to try to hold all of that in my minuscule, incapable, weak hands.  My perspective changed from “I have a lot that needs to happen and I have too much for me to worry about, so I am going to continually give it to the Lord and allow Him to direct my steps and lead me where I need to be, when I need to be there” to “Holy crap I can’t do all of this stuff!  There’s no time!  I don’t make enough money!  I’ll never get a job!  How in the world am I going to do all of this stuff with life still happening all around me?”

Like I said, nothing about my circumstances changed.  What changed was my perspective.

That shift in how I perceived my circumstances took me from being peacefully content and relying on the Lord to take care of each of those things, to me worrying about stuff I could never change or impact at all by letting it overwhelm me.

I broke.

My sanity and peace were gone for 10 whole minutes.  My worry shot through the roof and my anxiety skyrocketed.  My peace disappeared and my assurance melted away in an instant.  My contentedness flew out the window and waved goodbye as my faith alone sat rooted to the foundation of my being.

That’s when I found it.

In the middle of the chaos and turmoil within my spirit, I cried out to the Lord for help.  “I believe!  Help me with my unbelief!  Please!  Help me!  Help me with my unbelief!  Help me believe again!  Give me a home.  Give me a job.  Please!  Help my unbelief.”

In the middle of that storm of emotions that shook my very being, faith remained rooted to the firm foundation of God’s Spirit within me and the Lord used that faith to draw me back to Him.  Even with everything raging out of control, that prayer was heard: “Help me with my unbelief.”  Because even in that turmoil, I believed.  Even though I couldn’t quite find that peace that surpassed all understanding, I knew it would be there on the other side.  Even in the midst of every anxious thought and fearful dread, I had that faith.  I knew that the Lord was still there and all I had to do was surrender the insanity to the Lord and He would turn it into a journey with Him that would teach me wisdom, build my character, help me persevere/endure, and strengthen my faith.

I let my shield of faith fall for a moment, but the Lord helped me tighten my armor and pull my shield back up.  He helped me surrender my cares and worries and dreams and desires into His hands so that He can orchestrate them in a way that glorifies Him and grows me.  He took my scattered, broken pieces and put me back together again in a matter of minutes.

If you asked me thirty minutes ago how I was, I would have said “I’m okay.”

If you would have asked me ten minutes ago how I was, I would have said, “I’m broken.”

If you were to ask me now how I am, I would say, “I am blessed and content.”  Still broken.  But blessed and content just the same.

So tell me, friend, how are you?

Gentry Bass

Surrender

Surrender: (sur·ren·der / səˈrendər). verb.  1) Cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority.  2) Give up or hand over (a person, right, or possession), typically on compulsion or demand.  3) Abandon oneself entirely to (a powerful emotion or influence); give in to.

Definition credit: Google search engine.

If you ask 20 different people what surrender means to them specifically, you will probably get 20 different answers.  For instance, if I were to ask you to define a moment in your life in which you felt as though you had surrendered or were surrendering something or someone, your answer would differ from mine.

That, my friends, is called perspective.

I have a totally different perspective on the verb “surrender” than you probably do.  And in all honesty, I’m sure that my viewpoint on that ever so complex word will likely change within the next year.  Why?  Because I am going to face a magnificent moment of surrender sooner rather than later.

Allow me to explain.

This word, surrender, has been coming up frequently in my life.  It was the topic of a weekend camp that I attended and since then it has refused to leave.  In fact, it has decided to swirl amongst the inner workings of my mind and drive me mad.  Or, more likely, the madness I am currently experiencing secondary to the swirling surrender will draw me out of the bondage within me that holds me prisoner and will free me to be a much better me.  I’m hoping for the latter of the two.

You see, the word “surrender” isn’t really a pleasant one.  It entails leaving something behind or giving something up, usually for good.  As in, when you surrender it, you don’t get it back.  Ever.

Well, sometimes we do get surrendered things back.  And sometimes when we get them back, they are better than before; or maybe we are just better than before.  Maybe we had to go through the time of surrender to better understand what we had so that we could appreciate it all the more once it was given back to us again.  Or maybe, just maybe, we have to surrender something that we perceive as being the best for us so that we have open hands to receive what truly is the best for us.

The problem is: when you surrender something, you can’t just expect to get it back.  That’s not the point.  The point of surrendering something, especially when you are surrendering something to the Lord, is to humble yourself enough to say, “I don’t have control over this anymore; it’s all Yours.”

Easier said than done, right?

My Sunday school teacher has a lovely saying: “The problem with living sacrifices is they keep crawling off the altar.”

Can I get an Amen??

I mean, seriously.  We sit there and say, “Oh, Lord, You are so good!  You created all things and You know all things.  You are working everything out for good and I know that You are sovereign and You are in control.  I am relinquishing control of (*insert whatever you are surrendering here*) to You.  Thank You for taking my burdens and giving me Your peace that surpasses all understanding.”  Then what do we do?  We pick up the thing we just laid down in surrender and we walk away carrying it as if we know better than God!  I know I do it.  I lay down my worries and anxieties and then I come back later that day and pick them up again!  It’s a never ending cycle.  I’m just thankful that the Lord puts up with me and loves me and gives me more grace than I could ever deserve!

So… surrender…

How do I surrender?  How do I take my life and every single thing in it and give it up?  How do I take my worries about the future and lay them on the altar of sacrifice?  How do I take my plans and desires and relinquish control of them?  How do I surrender all that I am and all that I have?

It should be easy, right?  My mind should be able to grasp the concept that God is more than able to handle my life and all of its relatively minuscule facets.  I should be able to accept the fact (not theory or assumption, but fact) that God is far more qualified to run my life than I am.

Let me try to use an example:  Me trying to control my own life and refusing to surrender it is like me trying to fly an airplane or spaceship with no prior knowledge on the subject.  I look at the innumerable controls that I know nothing about and think that I’m qualified to not only operate but control it all.  In the meantime, I am refusing the help of the wise and knowing pilot who is sitting back, just waiting for me to ask him for help (the Lord is our pilot, He is the one who directs our paths and teaches us where to go).  I am also refusing to even attempt to read the manual that tells me how to fly the aircraft (the Bible, which is like our manual for life) because I can totally do it on my own.  Oh yeah, and I have no clue where in the world I am supposed to be flying the plane or spaceship, so I’m basically just wandering around and acting like I have it all under control and I know what’s best for me…  All the while, I am gracelessly flying myself into oblivion; ignoring every warning sign that passes me by; ignoring every flashing light warning me of my imminent demise…  And the worst part is, I think I’m better off like that.  I think I’m better off with me in control, rather than removing myself from the driver’s seat and surrendering control to the pilot, who knows where we are going and knows the best route to get us there with the least amount of turbulence…

One day I hope I learn how to keep myself on that altar.  I pray that the Lord helps me to be a living sacrifice, completely surrender.  I pray that I obediently go where He leads me and surrender the things that I need to relinquish control of.  I pray that God teaches me how to walk away from the altar without picking everything back up.  I pray that I humble myself enough to walk in obedience and servitude all the days of my life.

He’s getting me there.  One day at a time.  Very slowly, but surely, He is getting me there.

So here’s to tomorrow: a fresh start and a new day.  A new opportunity to surrender what needs to be released and leave it there.  I’m willing to try.  Are you?

Gentry Bass

Trust Me Yet?

Have you ever been in one of those situations? The kind that you have to trust God to take care of you and get you through the insanity that is being presented to you?  The kind that you could literally never get through on your own, even on your best day?

I have.  In fact, I’m in the middle of one of those situations right now.

This year is only barely halfway through, and yet this year has been filled with so many moments I didn’t see coming.  I never thought I would be paying for grad school out of pocket.  Sure, I knew if I needed to get my Master’s degree then I would have to pay for it; I just assumed I would pay it back, not pay it up front.  And let me just tell you, this one thing has caused so much stress and strain, but it has also tested my faith.

Don’t get me wrong!  I’m beyond blessed to have made it through an entire year of graduate school with zero debt from it.  Literally only the Lord could be responsible for how He has orchestrated that.  Literally.  Only the Lord.  And I praise Him every day for helping me get this far.

I never thought I would be planning a wedding during a long distance engagement, while I was in grad school.  Now, I know this was all my idea and I’m the dumb one who did this to myself.  I take FULL responsibility.  Well, half.  I’ll take half of the responsibility.  I’ll put the other half on Brandon.  …Poor guy…  Anyway, that has a whole other set of craziness that I will not delve into at the moment.

I never thought I would be living more than just paycheck to paycheck.  I don’t even currently make enough to support the expenses I have right now.  Not to mention that the Lord has called me to step down from one of my jobs, so I will have even less money coming in each month.  Yes, this is kind of my fault, but I think it’s more God’s plan than anything else.

I never thought I would be letting go of so many things I held dear…

Remember how I said that the Lord told me to step down from one of my current jobs?  Yeah… In my head, that wasn’t supposed to happen until I moved and got married and all that jazz in May of 2018.  However, as I have often found in life, God had a different plan.

So, here I am.

Tomorrow is technically my last Sunday on staff at the most incredible little church.  I loved being a part of this church family even before they somehow decided that I was the person they wanted to work with their kids.  After I took the job as children’s ministry director, my life changed forever.  Literally.

Each child in that ministry is like one of my own.  They have taught me and continue to teach me so much more than I ever knew I needed to know.  They showed me such unconditional love, such agape love.  They accepted me so fully and allowed me to be a part of their lives.  They have a piece of my heart and I pray that I did right by them.  I pray that they saw me as a servant and vessel of the Lord, not as a woman seeking praise or favor.  I pray that they learned something and felt God’s love in a way that they will never forget.  I pray that they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are valuable, chosen, loved, and prayed for extensively.  I hope I was able to light up their world just a little bit with the love of Christ.  I just hope they know that they are loved so thoroughly by so many different people and by a God who died to know their name and carry their burdens.

I hope…  I pray…

I have been thoroughly blessed by the people in my church.  They have supported me when I literally had no clue what in the world I was doing.  They encouraged me when all I could see were my flaws and failures.  They have kept me positive when all I knew was the negative.  They are literally the best people on the planet.  I thank God for them every single time I remember them.  I know the Lord put them in my life to help me not only survive, but thrive in my growth and experience while working with the kids in my church.  I couldn’t have done it without them.  And that’s the honest truth.  Thank you for everything.

The number of people who volunteered time and time again to help me serve the kids is astounding.  All of the volunteers I worked with had a heart of gold and the love of Christ shining from within them.  They have served beautifully and relentlessly.  They blessed me beyond anything I had ever known.  Children’s ministry isn’t for everyone, but those who serve the little ones are such a blessing.  They have taught me so much about loving on God’s precious little children.  Thank you for your time and heart.  I pray the Lord blesses your socks off!

My friends and family who have supported me through each and every crazy, insane, chaotic step of this journey…  You.  Are.  Phenomenal.  Thank you for not giving up on me and walking away from my waves of negativity or tornadoes of chaos.  Thank you for supporting me and showing me nothing but love.  Thank you for talking me down when I was so riled up.  Thank you for your endless prayers and countless texts and phone calls.  You have blessed my socks off.  (Literally!  I don’t have any socks on right now!  You blessed them right off!!)

I don’t even know where to begin with the prayer bunnies…  Literally.  There are NO WORDS that could ever express my gratitude and love for each of you ladies.  Knowing that you are always there, ready with a prayer for me when I need it most as well as when I forget just how much I need it.  I pray the Lord blesses you beyond all measure.  I know each of you has so many crowns awaiting you in Heaven.  I also know that you will relinquish every single one of them before the throne of the Father, even as you have done on this earth.  You have turned every blessing that He has poured out on you into the sweetest incense of praise.  May the Lord drop prayer bombs of blessings on each of you.

Now, to the absolutely phenomenal and incredible woman who is taking my place.  You’ve got this.  The kids will accept you and love you with more love than you ever thought you could receive.  They will welcome you with open arms and they will teach you things you never knew you didn’t know.  You will be incredible.  Seriously.  Don’t freak out.  You’re more qualified for this job than I am!  God used me and blessed me for the time He wanted me there, but it’s your turn now.  God will use you so fully if you allow Him to (and I know you will).  The kids will test you and they will drive you insane sometimes, but you know that.  But let me just say, the insanity and chaos is nothing compared to the love and joy and even peace you will find while ministering to those sweet kids.  You’re awesome and you’ve got this because God’s got you and He is putting you in this place for His good, pleasing, and perfect will.  And you know I’m not going anywhere yet!

The Lord has been so good and blessed me through all of the insanity I’ve faced throughout my life.  I know He will be with me during this next year and the year after that and the year after that.  I know He will be right beside me and before me and behind me.  I know He will help me plan my wedding and pay for grad school.  I know He will walk me across the stage at graduation and down the aisle at my wedding.  I know He will place me exactly where He wants me for my clinical fellowship year.  I know He will help us choose our first home and help us organize our things within that home.  I know He will help us love one another through the first difficult year of marriage and every other crazy year after that.  I know He will give me the perfect job with great coworkers.  I know He will be there every single step of the way.

I can hear the Lord now: “I’ve helped you through so much in the past.  I’ve shown you My love.  I’ve taught you My ways.  You’ve never been in need before.  Why in the world would I stop providing now?  Why don’t you just trust Me.  I’ve got this.”

I know God is using this insanity to help me see things more clearly.  Being perfected, molded, and purified aren’t pretty and they are also pretty painful.  However, with that in mind, it is necessary to go through the refiner’s fire if I wish to be used by the Lord.  So, into the fire I go.  Knowing the Lord walks before me and beside me and behind me, each step of the journey.

So here I am.  Trusting God to provide all of my needs.

Thank you all for your prayers, supports, and intercessions.  I feel them more and more each day.  You are all incredible and I pray the Lord heaps blessings upon each of you.

Gentry Bass

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